Arrogant Detachment

Well I am going to try. FaceBook is a part of everyday life for most people with internet access these days. It is certainly the main use of the internet by the people two floors above me singing along to Miley Cyrus and popular country tunes..but I can’t hold their FaceBook usage against them (I will use the music against them though).
So I deleted it and I jumped on this dandy little website….we’ll see how long it lasts until I feel the withdrawal of not being able to see the pictures from sorority parties. Or how long before I feel an actual disconnect that isn’t sarcastic. How long will I continue to open a tab and press the F and then the A key until I realize that the account is deleted…it will still be there in my history drop-down box (damn Chrome) as a reminder that I was the one who changed our relationship status and that you will always be there willing to return to our good ol’ days.
And I probably will at some point return.
However one thing that will genuinely keep me away is your arrogance, FaceBook. Upon going through the process of deleting my cyber-real life I was prompted that people would miss me (see below for actual figure) and that it would almost be impossible for me to be able to continue a social life without you. I think I’ll be just fine for a while.
The people who I will never see again.
Well, here is the actual note I sent to the FaceBook supercomputer bran thingy. I have somewhat hope that it ends up in some interns mailbox to read and decipher and stick into a category in order to figure out why people are leaving that community. Enjoy.
Dear FaceBook,

You are a cruel temptress. You tempt the inhabitants of this land with reality, but unlike the merkin-laid prostitutes of old, you actually deliver with what you advertise. Your examples above of people that will “miss me” creates an entirely new level of hyperreality. I can live through facebook, but I want something that actually has a physical feature. Life is real, but facebook has replaced that for too many people to have even one more.

I understand that hyperreality is something that is inescapable, but I will try to fight to hold off any instance of it I can. This little explanation will most likely only get sent to a supercomputer, but maybe it will have the mental capacity (it definitely has a higher one than 75% of facebook participants) to look up the hyperreal and Jean Baudrillard in order to try to understand the lack of reality synthesis within American society and human culture.


Senor Funk.

PS. Your advertising bots are a complete piece of shit.

I’m hoping I go into the section of FB immigrants that is titled “Commie Poser” and “Didn’t like the advertising.”

As for this arena, we shall see what actually occurs here. I am not great at extended writings and, as many of you are English majors or just great readers in general, some of the things I write may make you cringe or inspire some sort of fire within you whose sole hope is for me to get the labotomy that my writing shows I actually received many years prior. So here it goes. My experiment with FaceBook withdrawal and my trials of literacy. Let’s hope they don’t both end in failure.


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